Dealing With Anger

In many ways, anger is a normal reaction.

In this blog post, we’re going to present another challenge from one of the decks of challenges we have created for the game “Bounce Back.” The challenges in the series that we have created on health deal with chronic illnesses, such as cancer, diabetes, and heart disease. These decks are part of a serious game called “Bounce Back” that we have developed to teach the skills and the attitudes of resilience. The game presents the players with situations that they or someone close to them might encounter and asks them to choose the skills and the attitudes of resilience they would use or would recommend others to use to deal with the challenge.

Here is the challenge: Some days you’re angry. Some days you’re depressed. Some days you feel like you just don’t want to live with the pain anymore. You don’t really think about suicide seriously because it would solve no problem. But after a particularly sleepless and pain-filled night, you crawl out of bed at 4:15 a.m. to make some coffee. Your wife comes down the stairs with her usual, “What’s wrong, honey?” You’re tired of this persistently stupid question and you jam the pot into the coffeemaker a bit too hard. You’re shocked when it shatters and your knuckles begin to bleed.

Anger is a very normal reaction to all of the frustration and difficulties that a chronic healthcare problem presents. What do you believe you would do in this situation?  Think about it and talk with friends and family. Perhaps they have dealt with a similar problem. Many chronic illnesses, such as cancer and diabetes, involve chronic pain.

Here are some of the things that we would suggest. Connecting with others and communicating is important. Your wife was trying to do this. Perhaps she needs some direction from you. Maybe you need to talk with her more about how you’re feeling.

Managing all of the feelings that you have, especially the anger, is hard. But you’ll find better ways of dealing with it if you let some of it out in constructive ways. Find some ways to discharge it. Talking about it is one of those. Doing something physical, such as punching a pillow or a punching bag, exercising, etc., may help.  Even though you’re angry, and you may be angry with yourself, take care of yourself and take care of those around you.

Try to see the bigger picture. Things will change, perhaps for the better. Things will not remain the same. Get some help professionally in dealing with the anger. Medication is not always the answer. It can be part of a helpful program of treatment, but having someone to talk with and work on these issues may do even more to change things for the better.

Ron Breazeale  Ron Breazeale, Ph.D

News from Building Resilience: 05/17/18

America Retires cover card. Two empty, red Adirondack chairs on a deck with lake in the background.

America Retires v.3 Now Available

Work is done. It’s time to enjoy. It’s a whole new way of going about living our lives. For many, this signals changes in our health, socioeconomic status, and family dynamics. For others, it calls for major adjustment. We spend much of our lives at work and what was once routinized now needs to be remolded. As with all changes, good or bad, comes increased stress. If we are to enjoy retirement, we must learn to manage the change.

You now have time on your hands. Use this deck with friends and family to initiate conversations regarding the changes associated with retirement. Connect with other retirees and work together to apply the Skills & Attitudes of resilience to the challenges presented as well as your own. Use this deck in retirement seminars to prepare new retirees for the challenges ahead. Use it as a coaching tool ease the transition.

Red and white life buoy with round, black and white Bounceback logo in the center. This image is a link that leads to the Sales page.
Purchase BounceBack

Click on the above link on any of our pages and you will be taken to our sales page because…shopping should be easy. 

 

Southern Maine Resilience Task Force:

Meets 05/24/18 from 4-5:30 p.m. at Hope Gateway Church, 509 Forest Avenue, Portland ME 04101.

How do we Combat Loneliness?

Isolation of one individual.

I just finished an article entitled Loneliness Rivals Obesity, Smoking as Heath Risk by Nick Tate. A survey was conducted by Cigna and Tate reports that,

“Douglas Nemecek, MD, Cigna’s chief medical officer for behavioral health, said the findings of the study suggest that the problem has reached “epidemic” proportions, rivaling the risks posed by tobaccoand the nation’s ever-expanding waistline.

‘Loneliness has the same impact on mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, making it even more dangerous than obesity,’ he said in releasing the report.”

Continue reading “How do we Combat Loneliness?”

Why Peer Coaching?

Open hands reaching skyward through bed of flowers.

“A man falls into a hole so deep he can’t get out. A doctor walks by, and the man calls for help. The doctor writes a prescription, tosses it into the hole, and walks on. A priest walks by, and the man tries again. The priest writes a prayer, tosses it into the hole, and walks on. Finally, a friend walks by, and again the man asks for help. To his surprise, the friend jumps in with him. “Why did you do that?” the man asks. “Now we’re both in the hole.” “Yes,” the friend responds. “But I’ve been in this hole before, and I know the way out.”

—Rebecca Clay, SAMHSA News 2004

Continue reading “Why Peer Coaching?”

News from Building Resilience: 04/26/18

Civil Servant Deck Cover Card. Tiny silhouette of a person juggling large, colored alphabet blocks that spell the word quality.

Civil Servant v.3 – Now Available:

Making an honest living in service of others is an admirable goal. It’s a love of people and a willingness to work with them to build a better world.  But it’s not always easy. Many issues, beyond your control, can stand between you and person you hope to serve: language barriers, mental illness, cognitive disability, lack of transportation, faulty computer systems, inadequate budgets and ever-changing bureaucrats. There are more but you understand, right? In an ideal world, these things would not stand in the way. But that’s not where we live and we must be realistic if we are to remain in this role.

Use this deck to relieve your work-related stress by working through the scenarios to practice applying the Skills & Attitudes of resilience. It can be used to train and introduce new employees to the realities of service. Use it at staff meetings to connect/communicate with your peers and problem solve stressful issues.

Red and white life buoy with round, black and white Bounceback logo in the center. This image is a link that leads to the Sales page.
Purchase BounceBack

Click on the above link on any of our pages and you will be taken to our sales page because…shopping should be easy. 

Other News:

Since response to challenges varies from one individual to the next, we will remove the asterisks  that indicate suggested Skills & Attitudes from the back of the cards. Its really up to you, your coach and/or teacher to decide which and how to apply the Skills & Attitudes appropriate to each challenge. We hope that this leads you to more in-depth discussion and creative problem- solving.

Southern Maine Resilience Task Force:

Meets today from 4-5:50 p.m. at Hope Gateway Church, 509 Forest Avenue, Portland ME 04101.

 

Southern Maine Resilience Task Force

The palms of two hands painted with the world map against a blue cloudy sky.

Resilience is about more than strengthening our infrastructure, stabilizing our environment and emergency preparedness. It’s about building individual and community resilience.

We are creatures of habit. The more we practice a skill the better we become at using it. Attitudes are a settled way of thinking that reflects in our behavior. Individual and community resilience comes with a change in attitude from helplessness and pessimism to self-confidence and optimism and a good set of strategies in our toolboxes. Practice applying new Skills & Attitudes to everyday challenges successfully is how we get to self-confidence and optimism. Continue reading “Southern Maine Resilience Task Force”

Let’s Play BounceBack: 04/05/18 – Work/Finance

A note rests against a cup of money on a kitchen table reads, We've got cats to feed and lots and lots of student debt."

Work is a huge part of our lives. It accounts for approximately 1/3 of our lifetime. Because we invest so much or our time and energy at work, challenges that arise not only demand much attention but can elicit strong feelings. It is good to feel some passion for the work that we do. But we must manage our responses to these challenges in order to move past them. Continue reading “Let’s Play BounceBack: 04/05/18 – Work/Finance”

Let’s Play BounceBack; 04/03/18 – What’s on the Menu?

Caricature of young girls with 1950's hairstyle holding a glass soda bottle.

A.N.A.D. indicates, “At least 30 million people of all ages and genders suffer from an eating disorder in the U.S.” The C.D.C tells us that, “More than one-third (36.5%) of U.S. adults have obesity.” Not surprisingly, few statistics are to be found on the adverse effects of food additives and preservatives. And don’t get us started on the pesticide issue.

Eating is essential to survival. Eating can become a health risk…even fatal.  Many Americans take issue with discussions about food and how and what is best. We like to do it our way. Continue reading “Let’s Play BounceBack; 04/03/18 – What’s on the Menu?”